On Mother’s Day last year, I had ALL the encouragement in the WORLD for ya’ll. This year, nah bruh. I just want my babies already. #NoFilter I’m just taking some time this month to be poured into. Part of this journey has been realizing that I can’t pour from an empty cup. As much as I want to be able to encourage women every single week, I can’t. That is why I am SO thankful to be in an amazing support group. It is private and intimate. A place where I can be 100% raw and transparent. (In the moments when I cannot write out a blog.) Yesterday, I had a horrible attitude to say the least. It’s been a rough week in general, and as Sunday rapidly approaches, my emotions have been all over the place. Sunday is Mother’s Day. Another Mother’s Day in waiting. And it sucks right now. Honestly, I was thinking about just playing sick from worship service because…. it’s just too much sometimes. I am SO happy for ALL of the mothers and moms-to-be. I don’t want to take away from the amazing women that DO have their little blessings. But, traditionally, we are straight up forgotten about on Mother’s Day. And it hurts. Normally, I would hold alllll of those emotions in and let them drive me into depression. But instead, I chose to utilize the support and community that Abba has blessed my life with. I seriously suggest that you get connected to a support group if you are on a TTC journey//battling infertility//have a child in the NICU//have lost a child//desire to adopt or foster//all of the above and more. It will make ALL the difference. One of the most dangerous things is to isolate yourself in life. Once isolated, you no longer have a group of people interceding for you. You lack that shoulder to cry on, or that listening ear. The enemy can EASILY run up (ya’ll know I’m lowkey bout that life) when you are alone. BUT, when two or three are gathered… okay, I’m not going to preach.
Thankfully, my sister in Christ- Tiffany, had already been in prayer about this weekend. Twenty minutes before I posted about how I was feeling, she posted a specific blog post JUST for Mother’s Day. Here’s a snippet.
During my journey of TTC (Trying to Conceive) my first child, Mother’s Day made me feel excluded and forgotten about as I struggled to get pregnant. I felt that my diagnosis of infertility left an arrow lingering over my head pointing down at me to remind me that my body has failed to do what is so easy and uncomplicated for other women. I felt like no one cared what I was experiencing as a woman struggling to achieve motherhood on one of the most celebrated holidays of the year. I felt excluded, forgotten, and heartbroken. Are you currently feeling this way as Mother’s Day is quickly approaching? If so, I want to remind you that you are NOT forgotten…by God. Additionally, I want to apologize in advance on behalf of your church, family, and friends who’ve forgotten to acknowledge your very real, hard, and difficult journey to motherhood on one of the hardest days of the year for a woman diagnosed as infertile. I want to apologize in advance for those that will not be reaching out to you to offer a kind word of encouragement, or for the church that will pray for and celebrate all of the mothers in their congregation, but fail to acknowledge those that are struggling to conceive, suffered a miscarriage, or loss a baby. I’m SO sorry. I’m sorry that your heart is breaking because you have yet to see a positive pregnancy test.
I love you all so much! I am so thankful to have you, this blog and to bring glory to our Father in the midst of this test.
Until next time…