Can I just take one minute to thank ABBA for radical transformation? When I wrote my last post, I was feeling PRETTTTTTY defeated. That was the day before Mother’s Day. At worship service, Abba met me at the altar & filled me with so much joy! I left ALL of my burdens there. I left all of my worry, my hurt, my feelings of worthlessness, my fears of never conceiving.. I gave it to my Father. You see, He knew what type of encounter I needed. He knew how weak I was. He knew my faith was draining. He knew I needed HIM. I needed to worship him, to remember how GOOD and FAITHFUL he is. I needed to remember WHO he is! Ya’ll I have had SO MUCH peace since then. It’s kinda shocking, actually. I have never felt this overwhelming sense of peace when it comes to my TTC journey. I know, without a doubt that he is a God of miracles. I will be a mom. [mark this date] I’ve never been able to say that without doubt in the back of my head. Not this time.
“Little child, don’t worry bout a thang.” [Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7]
“Cause I got you.” [Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28]
Do you really believe that God has you? Do you believe that he hears your prayers, even when the answer might be “not right now?”
I know it is so easy to get discouraged. It is so easy to worry about the hows and whys. How will I conceive, will it be naturally or with medication? How will we afford the treatment? Why is it taking so long? Why hasn’t a foster child been placed with me yet? Why are my levels not doubling? Why are my symptoms not matching up? Oh, it’s so much sis.
Maybe you are afraid. Maybe you are afraid that you won’t ever conceive. Maybe you are afraid of losing a second child. Maybe you are afraid of how long the wait might be. We’ve been “officially” in the wait for almost two years now. I get it. I really do get it. I can’t wait for the day that I get my positive pregnancy test. However, I will worry myself sick, so I know that in the waiting, I have to surrender my desire to God.
“Don’t worry, don’t stress about anything.” [Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Matthew 6:27]
“I’m with you. I’m for you.” [Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all. 2 Thessalonians 3:16]
“This thing’s gonna be alright.” [Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Prvbs 3:5-6]
For tonight, do me one favor. Put this song on and REST. [1 Peter 5:7] Rest in the promises of our faithful Father. I know, I know. It is much harder done than said. When we first started trying, I didn’t understand how anybody could tell me to rest. But now, I get it. I can be confident in the fact that God hears my prayers. [1 John 5:14-15] I can be confident in the promises he’s made. God isn’t like us humans. He doesn’t fail us, He doesn’t lie.
I KNOW it is hard. I know you desperately want to hold your baby in your arms. So does your Father. He’s waiting for you.
I love you so much.
P.S I encourage you to write some of these verses down and RENEW your mind of them. Meditate on them. God’s Word is the BEST thing to fight fear and anxiety.
P.S x2 Psalm 56:3- When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
P.S x3- Make sure you read my last post for info on how to join our TTC support group!
P.S x4- I don’t own any rights to this song. Just sharing from youtube.